The Lind Family: The Musical

L

O

L

!!!!

This is so embarrassing haha. In no way, shape or form am I trying to imply I think I have any sort of realistic vocal talent LOL. I am TOTALLY being goofy lol. But this is exactly why I can’t get the house clean haha. This is pretty much a daily occurrence in this house. We listen to music as we clean, I hear a song I love, sit down to sing it, a child hops in my lap and before you know it, an hour has gone by and we’ve sung everything from Bob Marley to Patsy Cline hahahaha. So this is what REALLY goes on in our house, if you’ve ever wondered lol.

Oh and I botched up the lyrics because I literally haven’t heard this song in forever lol.

Cabin dream

There was literally so much going on in this dream I don’t know why I’m trying to piece it together lol. All I know is that my sister and I were at a cabin having a family reunion with a bunch of people we don’t know. I remember being out at a lake and people were scuba diving. The water was really clear and I thought, “hmm, I really wanna scuba dive someday”. The end.

My random phases even make their way into my dreams lol. I told myself that in 2015, I will definitely learn how to play guitar. I really want to because no one does anymore. My dad always played it for us and we all would sing. Now that he is gone, no one fills his shoes and we miss it. So I figured I would pick it up and be the person in the family that plays the guitar. But. I don’t have a guitar. I have one that Kevin’s coworker loaned me but I’m over dramatic and feel like I have to have the best there is in order to learn properly lol. I know that isn’t true but I tell myself that anyways. We do, however, have a keyboard worth a good $1500 that my mom gave me. It was my dads but she got it in the divorce. SO. I taught myself the intro to Let it Go yesterday to impress the kids lol. And I thought, you know what? Maybe I should just start here and learn the guitar later. I could do both but I have a tendency of overwhelming myself by the random phases I get into. I literally hit my archery target from across the street. It was pretty far, I was impressed lol. Even Kevin was impressed. That was after I put it down for several months due to not having a target. Kevin made me a really good one and it is probably being destroyed by the rain, now. Anyways, I can shoot a bow with pretty good consistency. Now I feel like I have a notch in my belt so I need to add another haha. Welcome to my piano phase. The piano has always felt very natural to me. But that was a long time ago lol and I have to retrain my fingers to do what I want. At least they are long so I have that going for me lol. Oh, my random phases and interests…. I just want to be interesting I guess. I want someone to tell me about there hobby and I could respond with, “oh, I can do that!”. So I want to create art, create music, shoot weapons, grow plants, knit things, see stuff, cool fabulous meals and bake deserts… I want to do things on my own like pitch my own tent, start my own fire and sleep in the woods by myself at night. I want to rock climb and scuba dive and climb crazy trees and even surf. I live in florida, I should surf. I want to build elaborate sand castles and fish and…. I wouldn’t be opposed to fixing cars, either. I want to build a sturdy piece of furniture from planks of rough wood. I would like to know the basics of flying a plane because you never know lol. I want to give an in depth analysis of various cultures around the world and I want to be able to apply a Shakespeare quote to nearly any situation I encounter. I want to be able to describe the emotions behind rare art. I want to identify all the constellations. I want to know how to wrestle a gator, just in case. I want to hunt and actually know how to skin the animal and prepare it to be eaten…. Even if that animal is an adorable little squirrel because, again, you never know. I want to run faster than anyone I know, do backflips and jump higher. I want to build my own zip lining course. I want to read literally every major classic novel ever written and actually remember. I want to give random facts about historical figures. I want to be the one that fixes the lawnmower when it breaks or supe up a power wheel.

But I guess I will just start with the piano and take it from there….

I’m not…..

Seriously, I REFUSE to fill my head with the stupidity of others. REFUSE. I have zero patience for fucking ignorance. Can’t stand it. It literally makes me feel ill. My house is a *no NEWS zone*. That goes for all of these self-proclaimed news reporters in my fucking news feed on Facebook, also. I have ONE friend on my Facebook that actually lives in Ferguson and I don’t even know the dude. I’m so beyond disgusted with this situation that I had to deactivate my own Facebook because I would end up de-friending fools left and right ACROSS THE BOARD. You’re all ignorant. Not a single fucking one of you were there so at this point you all have your hand in the pot, perpetuating the largest scale of fucking ignorance I have ever witnessed in my life. None of you legitimately give a fuck about Michael Brown. None of you legitimately give a fuck about the police officer. None of you legitimately give a fuck about the protesters or the businesses and lives that are being destroyed as we speak. All any of you are going to do in regards of this situation is sit on your fat American asses, snacking at the fucking computer, arguing with people you don’t know about a situation you didn’t witness involving people you really don’t care about. Come black Friday, all of you goons are going to be stampeding one another to buy your spoiled ass children the newest toy that’s going to further rot their brain…… the day after you stuff your glutinous faces with troths of food and supposedly give thanks for it. Get the fuck outta here…..

Church Shenanigans

Duuuuuuuude……..

It went down in church this morning. So, the song ended and I started clapping, along with everyone else. But then I zoned out. I wasn’t even thinking about anything, just zoning. Shannon looked at me and said, “omg” and started laughing hysterically. It was then that I realized everyone been done stopped clapping like ages ago and I was still clapping. The ONLY one clapping. LOUDLY. I immediately started laughing in shame but I was eating some pretty potent, minty gum…. so I went to catch my breath from laughing so hard and I inhaled my own saliva. It burned my throat, I thought I was dying. Literally thought I was going to be a goner right then and there. I just couldn’t even. I tried to get it together but I was choking so hard, I drooled a puddle onto my dress. Meanwhile, Shannon is losing it. I’m alternating between drooling and dying. So I excused myself. I walked into the restroom and my eyeliner was pooling up under my eyes. A lady I know was in there and asked what was wrong and as I tried to explain it to her I started choking and drooling again LOL! Omg. I caused like the biggest scene. Only me. ONLY me. Felt like spending the rest of the service in the bathroom. My husband and sister made fun of me for the rest of the service.

Yo yo yo yo yo

I think I have a post with a similar title in the vault lol. I say yo when I don’t know what else to say.

I’m sitting on the back patio and am in a really weird mood. The wind is blowing like crazy and i’m slightly paranoid that a tree branch will fall on me. I’m about to get super overdramatic. You’ve been warned. There’s times when I feel like I can fly. I know I can’t so don’t worry about me jumping off of a high rise or anything lol. But there are just times when I feel like I could…. or at least that I should. When I dream of flying it’s so real that the feeling of it stays with me in waking life. As I’ve said before, your mind can’t differentiate dreamed experiences from real experiences. So yeah. Times like right now, I feel like I could fly. I’m just looking at the tops of the trees and I can see in my mind what it would feel like to be above them.

Moving right along.

Speaking of paranoid. My nightmare has become a reality for some unfortunate folk on the south side. I shit you not, a freaking owl swopped down and attacked a woman. Method of attack? Pecking her in her head. Pecking her. In. Her. Head. I don’t think you’re really getting the magnitude of that. An owl pecked a woman in the head. This is precisely why I do not trust birds. They see shit. I watch them. I know they’re up to no good. Seriously, what business do they have just perching on a telephone line on the side of a busy highway? Really think about it. Shouldn’t they be out in nature in a fucking tree somewhere? I don’t get it. I watch them while I am at the red-light and try to imagine what they could possibly be thinking. It really looks like they are watching the cars. They are so unpredictable and unstable. One minute they are sitting on the telephone line and in an instant ALL of them just fly off in formation like members of the SS. I’m not always the sharpest tool in the shed but it looks a lot like drills to me. They’re preparing for something. I don’t trust them. Some birds are okay. Like little sparrows or sometimes a bluejay can make the cut. Pigeons? Forget it. Seagulls? No way. OWLS? Luckily i’m brushing up on my archery skills. I love all of God’s creatures but I will shoot their freaking head off in a split second. I bet they don’t think about shit like that. A bird tries me, i’m already on edge, i’m waiting for it. I’ll give em the left hook so fast they won’t have time to process what happened. When i’m out at talbot,  carry a backpack. It’s a good idea, too. I watch those hawks flying around looking for food and i’m just waiting for one of them to get bold with me. I can cover my head with the back pack OR I can knock one out with it. Either one will work. Do you not understand an owl pecked a woman in the head?!?! She was legit injured. Knocked her glasses off and everything. Hello phobia, right? She’ll never be the same again. Birds are assholes.

That’s pretty much it. I have to cut Kevin’s hair. I just wanted to let all of you animal lovers out there know that we’ve got owls pecking people in the head. Y’all are all taking these injured birds to bird sanctuaries and resorts and shit, they’re probably up in there sipping pina coladas getting neck massages, building up their strength to take one of you guys out the game. People just don’t get it lol.

Today

Shannon and I met up with our cousins to attend Lee’s memorial service. He is being cremated so there was no funeral or casket or anything. A picture of him in his Coast Guard uniform sat on a table at the front of the room…. the same room, which only a few years ago we said goodbye to Michaels (my cousin) papa. It was pretty emotional. Michael and Joseph (other cousin) put together a beautiful slideshow in Lee’s memory. I’m telling you….. Lee was an amazing human being. For one, his teeth were impressive lol. He has an OCD thing about his teeth so they were blindingly white and perfect. So, naturally, he literally smiled all the time. He had a bubbly, upbeat personality. He was a party animal. He was kind. Funny thing about him and my cousin….. they were a couple, btw. Anyways, they used to go dumpster diving lol. It was a top secret situation. For real. They always got serious when they talked about it because they didn’t want the world in on the good news about free (legal) treasures lol. They got me a brand new dining room table and a crib for Vayda during their excursions haha. Oh, man. Lee was awesome. The last time I actually saw him was at The Big Ticket last year. We walked up to him and his new dude, he greeted us with his typical smile, then proceeded to show us a bladder full of alcohol literally strapped to his leg under his jeans as he sipped from a catheter. That’s Lee for ya lol. He could make you die laughing by just his normal day to day dealings. I remember years ago, after he lost his father unexpectedly, he went through a really difficult time. He called us out to his mom’s house in Callahan and we talked about God all night. He is really going to be missed, deeply. His mother didn’t want a generic speech presented by some random guy that didn’t even know him….. so she got up there and shared story after story about Lee’s life. When he was 16, he used his very first paycheck to buy groceries for an elderly woman and supplies to repair her floor in her home. He was a selfless giver with such a presence you just couldn’t avoid him if you tried. He was there and it was known. After she delivered her speech, she began to talk about the source of her strength in all of this: Jesus. She told us her testimony and proceeded to share her concerns for how Christians these days aren’t representing our savior how they should….. they aren’t loving one another as He did. They are becoming cold and judgmental. Man. She really went at it. She also extended an invitation for others to come to know Jesus. It was beautiful. In all of her grief, she still held her head high and was able to smile. Anyways, the whole situation is terribly sad.

The first song in the slideshow was:

It was beautiful and tears were definitely shed…..

But then they presented Lee as everyone best knew him. One goofy picture after another to one of his favorite songs:

Omg. When the beat dropped. Silence. Blank faces. And then it went down. EVERYONE roared with laughter lol. Even his grandparents were cracking up. Lee was a trip. Oh God he was a trip lol. We met up outside and talked to his mother for a little bit and that was the end. We said goodbye to a marvelous man.

I decided to go back and hang with Shannon at her place. She had a report that she had to write for her economics class and needed my help. The only thing I will say about that is this: Jim Jones of the Diplomats was entirely responsible for setting the conditions in which an economic collapse was inevitable when he came out with this song:

Yes, you heard me right. Jim Jones caused the financial crisis of 2008.